January was a really depressing month. I'm not going to sugar coat it. We spent most of the month sick with colds and an eye infection. Our plumbing backed up and we know that as soon as we have the money, we have to get our outside pipes repaired because they have roots growing in them. Our foundation has grown such large cracks in the floor that we found an ant hill in Brenda's closet (they came up through the carpet). Since then, we have found ants in our hallway, bathroom and kitchen. Our back door won't completely shut. Neither will our laundry room door that also came off the hinge. We were able to fix that. Our master bedroom toilet is coming off the ground. Our main toilet doesn't want to hold water to flush. A piece to my desk broke. Brenda has 8 cavities. We found out that Aaron won't be here for the baby's birth and first four months. We have more than $2000 of unexpected bills not including what it's going to cost us in household repairs, an exterminator, and getting Brenda's teeth fixed. Money wise, the total damage for January is going to be close to $5000. Yes, all this happened in one month and I know that I am forgetting something.
Now, I'm sure you're wondering about the title of this post. Despite our series of unfortunate events, I have four people that make me smile every day and yesterday, my littlest reminded me of just how blessed I am. I haven't felt him/her as much as my other two, so Baby has me worried a lot. Last night, I felt the baby ever so slightly in areas that I haven't felt him/her before. I stayed perfectly still and waited to feel the baby again. She/he didn't disappoint. I not only felt Baby, but I saw my belly move for the first time as my littlest one did a little dance for me!
My kids and my husband are why the other stuff matters to me. I want them to be healthy. I want them to live in a nice, functioning, pest free home. I want them to have the best when it comes to everything. It breaks my heart when the things I can't control crash down on us. I'm the Mommy. I want to be able to make everything better. I can't control the things that happened last month, but I can control me. My goal for February is to continue to fix the things that are broken including myself. I let everything get to me last month and I wasn't the best mother and wife I could be. I'm going to let the rest go. Yes, I'm going to figure out a way to pay bills, I'm going to continue to kill ants, and I'm going to repair what I can of our house, but I'm not going to let that get me down. I'm also going to make sure I laugh and play with my kids every day, because they don't know what's going on. They don't care about ants or pipes or money. They do care that I haven't been as there for them as much as I usually am. This is not going to be the case for February. I am truly blessed and I'll make sure to show all of them that that is how I really feel.